deeeeepression, never heard of it.

Ohh what a sad lil boy i was. I was trying so hard. 

I have a lot of goals that are bigger than life. i want to do big things. 

ITs always been this way. 

I want to be so much further than i am and i have little patience or grace for the process. 

If anyone thinks they can hurt me, its wild cause ive already abused and beat and killed myself many times in my head. nothing you can say can really hurt me. Outside voices would only confirm that the voices in my head may be right. Its not new info to me that i am not as good as i say that i am or pretend to be. 

Im sure some people got a lot out of their time at bible college, i just got more self-hate

Burdens? What Burdens? - 6/9/15 4:41 PM

 This post was going to be titled "Burdens." I was feeling distressed. "I can't carry this weight of growing up, of maturity, of carrying burdens." But last night, God took my burdens away. He spoke to my heart, gave me a specific way to use my life for Him. (I will write of that at a later date.) Here is what has been going on in my soul these months.

January-February: More of a hatred of specific sins in my life.I resolved to seek brothers in the Christ to help me fight these sins.
March 6-8: Don Whitney spoke on spiritual disciplines. I learned to be satisfied with the Word and Prayer. 

March 27-29: Prayer Conference at EI School of Biblical Training in Greenville, SC. Even more encoauragment that God is Satisifing.

May